Here I am, saying something I never thought that I would say; My illness is a sin issue.

My Illness Is A Sin IssueClick To Tweet

To give you a little back ground, I was 14 whenever my world was changed forever and I became sick with an illness that causes me to collapse and leaves me with extreme muscle weakness in my arms and legs. During these episodes, I cannot walk, hold anything, or raise my arms.

My body is basically dead weight and I cannot do anything until the episode passes. These episodes were so bad and so frequent that I missed half my Junior and Senior years of high school and needed to complete my Associates degree online.

Related: 6 Things I Learned In 6 Years Of Illness 

My days were interwoven with anxiety, loneliness, and guilt.

Guilt because I wasn’t better.

Guilt because I must not believe enough.

Guilt because I was no longer able to do simple tasks.

Guilt because every doctor’s appointment became a waste of time and money. 

Guilt because the expensive genetic testing came up short.

Guilt because I couldn’t go out with my friends.

Guilt because the smallest of things can so easily exhaust me. 

Guilt because I look healthy.

Guilt because I wanted someone to love me in spite of my broken body and the shattered heart that came with it. 

Guilt because I became tired of searching and coming up with nothing. 

Do you catch my drift?

I remember having a conversation with one man who asked me why I hadn’t been praying that God would heal me. Then, before I could explain that I had done exactly that for years, he asked me, “Do you not want to be healed? You need to have more faith that He will heal you.”

I remember going to the alter and being anointed with oil and the elders praying over me for healing.

Another time, a pastor I didn’t know heard my testimony while I was visiting his church and called me in front of his congregation and prayed for my healing.

On a different time, I remember a man praying over my body that whatever demon was inside of me making me sick would come out of me.

On a different occasion, not a few months later, another person who knew of my illness cornered me and prayed the exact same thing. Later I saw him and he learned I hadn’t had an episode for a few weeks, he proceeded to proclaim, “good, maybe I saved your dad some money.”

I can vividly remember an awkward car ride where the person I was with said that I must have some secret sin in my life or in the lives of my parents and that was why I was sick.

Each one of these encounters left me so broken and in a pile of tears and discouragement.

Related: The Day I Realized It Was Okay To Need Some Help

I have tried all of my life to be a good Christian, to love the Lord with all my heart and be obedient whenever His still small voice speaks to my heart. Not even because I thought He would heal me if I did, but simply because He is worthy. Was my sick body and indicator that I still did not have enough faith? Did I have a sin issue? Is my apparent lack of faith the secret sin hiding in the depths of my soul?

As I have journeyed through these experiences, there is one thing that has become increasingly clear to me; illness is indeed a sin issue.

Cassidy, how could you come to this conclusion? 

Let me explain. Actually, I will let scripture explain.

If you have a Bible around, Genesis 3 is a great place to read. Genesis 3:22-24 says,

Then the LORD God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever-“Therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken. He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.” Genesis 3:22-24 (ESV)

Why did God send Adam and Eve out of the Garden? Sin.

At this point, every single thing became tainted and everything was now destined to decay and die until God redeemed the world. Sickness is a direct result of the sin that happened in the Garden of Eden. After sin entered the world, a perfect body and a perfect world no longer existed.

Did Jesus heal people in the New Testament according to their faith? Yes. Did Jesus heal people in the New Testament in spite of their “lack of faith”? Yes. Does He heal people of diseases still today? Absolutely. I believe our God is so powerful and that He can definitely heal.

I also believe that He has enough power to redeem someone’s illness and use it to draw that person and many others to himself. Do I believe that sickness is something that God desires for the creation that He loves so ardently? No. But it is an inevitable consequence of the fall.

Even if I didn’t have an illness, I am still dying. So are you.

Even if I didn't have an illness, I am still dying. So are you. Click To Tweet

As Christians, it might be easy for us to look at our brothers and sisters who are suffering and immediately go to a place of judgment instead of grace and love. Those who are suffering need others to be the hands and feet of Jesus in their lives.

A listening ear after a disappointing doctors appointment.

Hands and arms they can hang onto whenever they are too weak to stand.

Legs that stand up for them whenever they feel defeated and discouraged by the comments of those around them.

Feet that walk into their lives and speak TRUTH whenever they feel isolated and alone. 

Knees that hit the ground and pray that God would speak peace to their hearts and remind them that their identity is in Him and not a diagnosis. 

Our identity is in Him...not a diagnosis. Click To Tweet

Illness is not always someone’s fault.

Illness is not a result of someone’s lack of faith. It is a direct result of the world we live in marred by sin.

If you are someone who is struggling through an illness and are carrying guilt for being sick, please know that that guilt does not come from our God. Our God purchased victory for us on the cross of calvary.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Our Lord doesn’t promise that our lives will be without trials.

In fact, I think this scripture states the exact opposite. He himself is all to familiar with the effects of sin. Jesus doesn’t promise to heal us on this side of heaven.

However, He does promise to give us more of himself and to give us peace. And at the end of the day, we need to want Him above anything else…even healing.