I’m going to be really transparent…Singleness is hard. Can I get an amen?

Whether you are in a dating relationship or remain a party of 1, there are so many challenges to being a Christian single.

Do I want to marry this person? Am I ready for marriage? What are appropriate boundaries in a dating relationship? Can we just be friends? How can my break-up glorify God?

It is okay that I don’t want to date that person? What will others think if they find out I’m a virgin? What will they think when they find out I’m not a virgin? Am I good enough? Should I lower my standards?

Singleness is full of a lot of emotions and a lot of questions.

And quite frankly, there were a lot of questions I was just too afraid to ask. And on top of that, I feel like culture does a wonderful job of teaching us that singleness is like a disease of some sort.

But in all reality, singleness can be a sweet and satisfying time in our lives if we live out our singleness surrendered over to the Lord.

That is a lot of the reason I love these books that I am about to share with you.

God has used these books in my life to both draw me closer to Him and prepare me for that covenant of marriage that He may have ordained for me in the future.

The Best Books For Christian Singles

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1. Boundaries In Dating – Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

All things being equal, a bad marriage is probably more painful than a bad single state.”

Henry Cloud – Boundaries In Dating

One thing that I really appreciated about this book was its bluntness. I also found this very helpful to me personally because, as I said above, there were some questions that I just too afraid to ask…and the question of boundaries was one of them. I didn’t want others to think I was trying to get away with as much as possible when in reality I didn’t know how to establish healthy boundaries.

This book didn’t approach boundaries from a “legalistic” point of view. Rather, I felt like it approached boundaries from the perspective of creating healthy and God-honoring relationships through healthy choices within the relationship.

2. Love, Sex, and Dating – Andy Stanley

Become the person the person you’re looking for is looking for.”

Andy Stanley – Love, Sex, & Dating

If you have ever heard the phrase, “become the person who the person you’re looking for is looking for”, you have heard a quote right out of this book. One thing I loved about this book was the emphasis it placed on taking time to invest in your own spiritual life and personal growth before anything else.

This book has helped me both in dating relationships and outside of dating relationships. I have read it over and over again and I cannot recommend it enough!

3. When God Writes Your Love Story – Eric & Leslie Ludy

Most people never realize that loneliness is a gift from God. Not only can it draw us closer to Jesus, it can teach us to cherish a long-awaited marriage relationship all the more.”

Eric Ludy – When God Writes Your Love Story

This book is hands-down one of my favorite books, ever. I just recently finished it and I cannot speak more highly of it. A reoccurring theme in this book is letting God have the pen.

I really like the way the authors apply this both to our love lives and every other area of our lives in general. Similar to the 2nd book, this puts a great emphasis on the pursuit of a deeper relationship with Christ before pursuing other romantic relationships.

4. Passion and Purity – Elisabeth Elliot

But the question to precede all others, which finally determines the course of our lives is What do I really want? Was it to love what God commands, in the words of the collect, and to desire what He promises? Did I want what I wanted, or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?”

Elisabeth Elliot – Passion and Purity

This book has been one of my must-reads on my to-read list. I love everything by Elisabeth Elliot. For this book, I really appreciated the perspective it offers about bringing our passions under God’s guidance and control.

5. The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition – Gary Chapman

What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.”

Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition

This is a book that I recently found. And I’m not going to lie, I was pretty excited when I found it. I love the original 5 Love Languages book.

Whenever I found that they had a singles edition, I knew it needed to go on my to-read list! I never thought of singleness and the 5 love languages going together, but this book offers a new perspective.

6. SINGLE, DATING, ENGAGED, MARRIED: NAVIGATING LIFE AND LOVE IN THE MODERN AGE – BEN STUART

“When someone says to me, “I have been talking with this girl for a while. We’re trying to figure out when to make it official, like, Facebook official. What’s your advice?” I always ask in response, “Are you, as an individual, in an emotional, spiritual, and financial situation where you feel you could reasonable get married in the next six months?” Normally the guy answers, “No.” I respond, “Then you do not need to be in a rush to try to lay some claim on this girl. You do not need to expedite attempting to name your relationship. Because what you are trying to do is get the security and comfort of locking her down, saying to the world, ‘She is MY girlfriend.’ But what does that mean? It means other guys can’t have her. It means you have laid a certain claim on her. But under God, you have no rights over her! She can do whatever she wants!”

Ben stuart – Single, dating, engaged, married: navigating life and love in the modern age

“Freedom is not the absence of boundaries, it is the ability to fulfill created intent.”

Ben stuart – single, dating, engaged, married: navigating life and love in the modern age

I really like the perspective to dating that Ben Stuart brings to the table. As singles, we belong solely to the Lord and not to another person until we are committed to them in marriage.

Related:

• A Conversation about Modesty and Sexuality Christian Women Need to Have
• 3 Lies you may believe if you are Sick and Single
• You Cannot Heal Your Broken Heart

7. RELATIONSHIP GOALS: HOW TO WIN AT DATING, MARRIAGE, AND SEX – MICHAEL TODD

“When we don’t wait on the Lord, we give the Enemy the chance to introduce us to counterfeits. Then we deal with the results of mistakes and have to get healed and delivered from something God never meant for us to experience.”

Michael Todd – Relationship goals

“See, people are so often trying to get a person without first understanding their own purpose—or at least without taking it into account. But a close relationship is going to have a huge impact on how well you can fulfill your purpose.”

Michael todd – Relationship Goals

8. 31 PRAYERS FOR MY FUTURE HUSBAND: PREPARING MY HEART FOR MARRIAGE – JENNIFER SMITH

“A husband and wife reflect that same love that motivated Christ when they love each other. They die to themselves and become one.”

JENNIFER SMITH – 31 PRAYERS FOR MY FUTURE HUSBAND: PREPARING MY HEART FOR MARRIAGE

I personally truly love working through this book and taking a moment each day to honor and pray for my future husband. You and your future spouse may not be in each other’s lives right now, but you can make the choice to honor them and love them even now.

A simple way to do that is by praying for them. In this book, there are lined pages after each prayer so you can write in your own prayers for your spouse if you want to. As I work through this book, I like to add the date that I prayed that specific prayer to the page.

If you are a guy, this book has a companion book titled, “31 Prayers For My Future Wife: Preparing my Heart for Marriage by Praying for Her” by Aaron Smith

I think so many times, it is easy to think that culture has it right when it comes to love.

It’s easy to feel discontentment, or even a bit of bitterness, as we reluctantly obey. These books offer a different perspective and help singles live out this season of singleness joyfully surrendered over to God’s call and His plan.

What about you? What books have helped you during your singleness? Let me know in the comments below!