A guest post by S. G. Willoughby
She Chose Hope – Introductions
For this week’s She Chose Hope story, I am really excited to introduce you to an amazing woman named Sara. Sara is a chronic illness warrior, author, and host of the Diamonds Conference. And did I forget to mention that she hasn’t even entered into her twenties yet?
I have personally been so encouraged by her blog, her conference, and just her as a person. She has such a sweet spirit! Today, she is sharing with us a beautiful post about the beautiful God-given gift of hope.
Stop Striving For Hope- It’s A Gift (By: S. G. Willoughby)
I opened up the packaging and found two things.
A long letter. And a beautiful dolphin necklace. It was metal, and small — just my style. Two dolphins hung side by side, one a little bigger than the other, with a fake diamond connecting them.
It was a Secret Santa exchange with girls all over the country, and Victoria had gotten my name. Dolphins are my favorite animal, but her letter explained more. Like me, Victoria suffered from severe health challenges, and so whenever she was struggling her boyfriend would text her a dolphin emoji. It became a “dolphin of hope” for her. As it did for me when she passed it along.
I told my friends, and they still text me dolphin emojis when they don’t know what to say. Every time I put on the necklace, I remember her story. I remember that I am not alone and that I have hope. Life might be hard now, but I can and will swim free again, polished like the necklace by the things I’ve gone through. (Read Malachi 3:2-4)
2 But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap. 3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord.4 Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the Lord as in the days of old and as in former years.
Malachi 3:2-4, ESV
But it’s a year and a half later, now.
The necklace is in its place on my neck, and as my heart aches, my hand reaches up to hold the dolphins. The cool metal pressed into my palm pushes me to keep trying. To hang in there (no pun intended). Before I cry myself to sleep that night, I text some close friends.
“Right now my heart feels so broken and bleeding. He hurt me so incredibly deeply and I’m struggling to see any kind of restoration possibility. And I still can’t believe he even did it or that he is still doing it. It feels like it’s just a nightmare I have to wake up from. Surely it isn’t real.”
I lost one of my best friends. He hasn’t acknowledged my existence since it occurred a few weeks ago. And I’ve lost friends before. I think I know how it goes. I’m struggling to hope that we can ever rebuild the broken trust and our broken relationship and that I can ever rebuild my broken heart.
The good news is, it doesn’t depend on me. I can’t control what anyone else does. And God is the only one capable of healing my heart.
Hope takes grit. Hope takes determination and endurance.
When hard things hit, hope doesn’t always come easily and we must fight for it. It is worth fighting for. But the beautiful thing about hope is that hope doesn’t demand that we strive.
Hope is strong, but it is gentle. It is a gift we are given — through Jesus who is our living hope (See 1 Peter 1) — not one we must manufacture in ourselves.
Right now, I’m struggling to hope. But I am determined to hope. And so I am choosing to sit and be still and hold onto a simple dolphin necklace. To wait and receive the hope God is giving me. Our hope gets to be new every day because God’s mercies are new every day (Lamentations 3:22-23).
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV
Even when we mess up and fall flat on our faces. Even when people fall through and don’t keep their word. Even when another diagnosis hits.
I don’t say this lightly. I say this having faced my deathbed and still seen hope, even when all I could do was lay there and cry. Having lost my home. Having lost people who were (and are) important to me. Having lost my childhood. Hard things are not the opposite of hope, they are the things that push us to stop striving because we simply don’t have anything to give anymore and simply receive hope.
God is not limited by our limitations. He is not limited by the people in our lives. He is not limited by the lacks in our lives. He is not limited by impossible situations. He is bigger than it all and He loves us and that is why I had hope facing my deathbed. And that is why I choose to have hope facing this painful relationship pause.
God doesn’t need me to fix it. I get to watch Him change hearts and grow people (myself included). I get to participate and follow His lead without wavering. I get to be confident in Him, even when it hurts, that this is for the good of those who love Him. Of me who loves Him. Of you who loves Him.
I want to leave you with three ways we can stop striving to create hope and instead simply receive it.
- Tell God the areas you feel hopeless. Pray and surrender to Him to hard things.
- Open up your Bible and search for the word “hope.” Feel free to start in 1 Peter 1. Receive the promises and truth, letting them wash over your weary and battered heart.
- Choose a tangible object as a reminder of the truth you find in your prayers and reading. Something to hold onto when the pain hits and all you can do is breathe.
Grace, hope, and love go hand in hand. To receive Jesus as hope, you have to have grace for yourself and receive His grace for you. And to receive both of them, we must rely on the unwavering love God has for us. His love is what gives us grace and hope.
Hang in there, warrior. You’re not alone, nor will the hard last forever.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
S. G. Willoughby is the author of He’s Making Diamonds: A Teen’s Thoughts on Faith Through Chronic Illness and the host of the Diamonds conference. She loves to write and have adventures. Sara is a TCK, a Lymie, and a Young Life leader. You can find her at sgwilloughby.com.
If this encouraged you, leave a comment for Sara and share this with a friend!
